Teaching Toddlers Sharing

Sharing is not something that comes naturally to most young children. By the time children are two or three years, their sense of identity becomes well developed. They gradually move away from a parent-centric existence to a child-centric one, where they are aware of their own wants and needs as individuals. The accumulation of material possessions is part of this process:  the more the items labeled ‘mine’, the more secure the child feels.

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However, children must learn to share in order to evolve into adults who are productive members of a society. They can establish thus healthy lasting relationships with others.  A toddler should be exposed to the concept of sharing properly; they should develop no resentment at being forced to share. If not, they will withdraw into a shell of protective selfishness. That will create problems for everyone, both at home and in environments like daycare. Try the following to teach effectively a child to share:

Take turns

Take the child’s favorite toy and play with it for a minute. Then hand it back to her. After a while say “Can I have my turn to play with it again?” After taking the toy, return it after a minute. Repeat this a few times and the child will learn that sharing does not mean losing possessions completely.

Use praise

Just as you praise the child for doing something good, offer praise when she shares things with others. No matter how small an action is, use positive reinforcement technique by saying things like “That was such a nice thing you did!”

Set an example

Children tend to imitate what their parents say and do. You can set an example by sharing things with your child. Pick up a snack your child loves and start eating. Offer the child some of it. Laugh and smile while doing this. The idea that sharing can be fun is thus reinforced.

Do not label possessions

When a child picks up something she is not supposed to, do not say words like “That’s not yours”, “Its mine” and so on. Instead, use phrases like “We do not play with that.” This will help reduce the importance of the concept of possession in the child’s mind.

Do not punish non-sharing

Adults can be guilty of non-sharing – think how you would feel if your favorite CD was taken from you. It is natural for a child to refuse sharing. Try to impress upon her how bad she would feel if other children refuse sharing things with her and try isolating her. Try convincing her that it would be great fun to share and participate. It may take a little time but the child will come around soon.

Do not be overhasty

It is normal for children to fight over toys. When you see it happening, do not immediately rush in to stop it. Children can be surprisingly mature about resolving disputes. Give the kids a minute to see if they come up with a solution of their own. If they do, there’s no learning method as good as experience. If not, go ahead to take control.

Sharing can be an issue in daycare children. A good daycare is usually experienced enough to handle the problem. If sharing is not an issue at home, but is so only at daycare, talk with the teachers about it to try to fix it. If you feel the problem is the daycare itself, then look for another one in your area. Use an online resource that will give you details and contact information of daycares near your residence.