Dealing with Daycare Bullying (Part-2)

The previous post of this blog covered a few things that parents can do to help their children deal with daycare bullying. If those ideas do not produce the desired results, the next logical thing to do is to talk to the daycare about it. A good daycare does have staffs who know how to spot bullying and other bad behaviors.

However, some cases can slip through the cracks. Once it is brought to their attention, they will have the experience to deal with it. Normally, it is not a good idea to talk directly with the bully’s parents – they could become defensive and deny the behavior or even turn aggressive. Here are a few ideas of how you can talk to the daycare.

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Talking to the daycare

• Arrange to meet privately the teacher and support staffs involved with the children.

• Present the problem and communicate your concerns in a calm non-accusatory tone. Inform the teacher of the unpleasant experience of your child, the effect of the bullying on her and the steps you have taken at home to fix the problem. Remember, the bullying your child has suffered is not the daycare’s fault, and so accusing them of indiscipline will be counterproductive – you need their help.

• Be firm, but polite and reasonable in voicing your concerns.

• Ask about the daycare’s methods of dealing with bullying. Tell them what you and your child can do to help in resolving the issue.

• Seek the teacher’s views on the matter, and an idea of how she has dealt with such problems in the past.

• Remember that there could be a number of understandable reasons for the bully’s behavior; therefore, accusing the child or the parents of bad behavior or attitudes will not help in resolving the problem.

• End the meeting with a plan to deal with the situation, and ask them to keep you informed of the progress.

• Be in touch with the teacher and ask for another formal meeting if no progress is made in a reasonable period. Remember that behavior cannot be changed overnight, and so allow some time for things to improve.

If the bullying continues ….

If the meeting with the teacher does not produce any results, you need to take matters to the next level:

Ø  Keep a detailed daily record of the bullying, and if there is physical harm to the child or property, take pictures for your record.

Ø  Write a formal letter to the daycare informing them that the bullying has not stopped; enclose your daily record and photos. Ask for a formal response from the daycare in writing.

Ø  If this does not produce a response or the bullying continues, meet the director/head of the daycare and brief her about the situation. Ask for a time- bound plan of action to resolve the issue.

Ø  If this does not produce any results either, find out about the daycare’s policy for handling grievances and submit a formal complaint detailing everything that has happened so far.

If nothing works at all ….

If none of your efforts produces results and the bullying continues, it may be time to look for another daycare. Use an online resource that provides information and contact details of daycares in your area to help you find a better one for your child.